Trials are simply a part of life. End of story. No one goes through life without facing many trials. Life truly is a rollercoaster. Even though I am only 15, I have learned that, when things are going great, prepare your heart for the hard times that are coming, and when everything hits rock bottom, prepare your heart for the great things lying ahead! If life was just good all the time, no one would know the beauty and the greatness of God's love and comfort! God brings us trials and tribulations, so that we can fall on Him and trust Him to love us and pick us back up!
Last Sunday afternoon, my sister and I went to visit my dad in Little Rock. This was the first time I had gotten to see him since May. I was SOOOO excited! I love my dad more than anyone on this earth! I have his characteristics, or so my mom and sister tell me all the time. My dad is the man who talked to everyone like he had known them for 10 years. He can strike up a conversation with just about anyone! Last night, my mom, sister, and I went to Colton's for dinner, and as we were waiting to be seated, a man walked in. So, I didn't wanna just stand there awkwardly, so I was like, "Hello sir! How are you tonight?" He said, "Good! How are you?" I said, "I am doing great! It's pretty busy here, huh?" and then we just took off. Haha! We ended up talking about the house he built, his dogs, my pets, school, football, it was great. And my mom and sister were like, "You are just like dad". I love that. So anyways, we went to visit my dad and he told us to come up to his room for a few minutes and that he wanted to talk to us. So, we went up there and he said, "sit down for a minute." So I sat down next to him, and he patted my leg before telling me something, like he always has since I was a baby. I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be good. He told us that, becuase of his family not talking to him, and his other 2 children (my half brother and half sister) moving to different states, he decided that he would move back to Oklahoma, where he lived in 2007-2008. He lives in one of the highest rated crime parts of Little Rock, and it's right in the middle of a run down neighborhood. I broke down. I couldn't understand why this was happening. My dad was already barely in my life, and now he is going to be in my life even less. I didn't pray and I didn't talk to anyone. I just went to my room and sat there. Finally, I gave into God. I prayed and just put everything at His feet. Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the broken hearted." Romans 8 also says, "Everything God does is for the good of those who love Him." I was no longer relying on my own strength, but on God's. This happened the day before school. 90% of me wanted to go to school on the first day, in a t-shirt and sweatpants with my hair in a ponytail and just mope around the whole day. But thank goodness for that 10% that was all God that reminded me that this is going to be for the good, and that I just have to faithfully rely on the Lord to pull me through. Monday ended up being the best, first day of school, of my life! It was such a good day, and a lot of good things came out of it! I am very unsure of where God is going with this, but something I am sure of is that He knows what He is doing, and that I can trust Him. So that's what I am doing.
It may be weeks, months, or years before something good comes out of my dad moving, but it won't always be so bad. If God has put you right in the middle of something that you just don't think you can get through, or you don't think you can ever find happiness in, just keep taking each day a step at a time, becuase I promise life won't always be so tough. It's just the dark before the morning! The good times are right around the corner. :)
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
You Lift Me Up
The song "You Lift Me Up by The Afters" has recently touched my heart, in a very unique way. The first verse says, "Waiting for the sunrise, waiting for the day, waiting for a sign that Im where you want me to be." Towards the beginning of the summer, I prayed a prayer over and over again, saying, "God, please show me my purpose. I want to serve You and if what I wan't isn't what You want, then I don't want it." I can't remember how many times I prayed that, but I can assure you it was quite a few. And I kept praying it and praying it, but I didn't get any "answers". I was very close to giving up. I thought, "Okay God. I keep hearing that You will help me and show me answers, but I keep praying and you aren't giving me anything back. Come on now." I almost gave up, but I was like, "Im just gonna keep on. I don't know if I will get anywhere with this, but we will see."
I am so thankful that I didn't give up, and more improtantly, I am SO glad God never gave up on me. All along, I am pretty sure God was looking down at me saying, "If you can't hold on to me now, how can I trust you to hold on to me later in life, when I entrust you with something far greater than anything you have ever experienced? Hold on, and I will reveal myself to you." God works in very marvelous and mysterious ways...
In Isaiah 55: 8,9 it says, "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, says the Lord. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts" No matter how hard we try, we will never know 100% for sure what God is going to do in our lives. But that's where faith comes in. We have to put our faith in God, and trust that He knows what He is doing, and that we just have to search for him diligently and wait for Him to reveal His plan for our lives, step by step.
Right about the time that I was thinking I would give up on searching for God, I encountered Him in many mighty ways. After praying so many times for God to reveal Himself and His plan for my life, to me, He did that and more. God showed my what He wants me to do, at 2 camps, a mission trip, and a conference, this summer. He called me to step up, get out of my comfort zone, and start living a life that points EVERYTHING to Him! No, this is not the ideal thing to do, but it is what God specificly (and I mean very specificly) wants me to do. After God kept grabbing at me and saying I need to step it up and be a true leader, I prayed for help. I prayed for God to show me everything I needed to be this leader He wants me to be, becuase at that point in time, I couldn't have even lead a horse, if I needed to, I was so ill-prepared.. And sure enough, a few days after I prayed that prayer, God really started moving in my life. Every sermon or bible study or devotional I was apart of from that day forward, there was at least one if not more things that God showed me to work on in order to be His leader.
It is very true that God can take the faith of a mustard seed and use it to move mountains. After asking God to reveal His plan to me so many times, I had the smallest most tiniest bit of faith a person could possibly have, and thank God, He took that and used it for things I couldn't have ever imagined! I have learned to put all of my faith in God, becuase, even though many "friends" in the past have let me down after I put my faith in them, my God has NEVER EVER EVER let me down, and He NEVER EVER WILL! I was weak after praying that prayer over and over again, but God still lifted me up.
Every day, God lifts me up, over the things that I can't get myself over. When I am heartbroken and I feel like nothing can go right, He wraps His arms around me and tells me it will be okay. His love truly carries me, and that is why I was able to let go of all the things that were hindering me from moving forward with God, this summer, which were insecurities, facebook, and a friendship that I couldn't control.
An intimate relationship with God, takes time, and patience. Getting so close to God, didn't happen over night. I promise. God will do this in any and everyone's lives, but He has to test your faith, to make sure you are ready for what He has planned for your life. Give yourself up to Him, I promsie you will never make any better decision.
I am so thankful that I didn't give up, and more improtantly, I am SO glad God never gave up on me. All along, I am pretty sure God was looking down at me saying, "If you can't hold on to me now, how can I trust you to hold on to me later in life, when I entrust you with something far greater than anything you have ever experienced? Hold on, and I will reveal myself to you." God works in very marvelous and mysterious ways...
In Isaiah 55: 8,9 it says, "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, says the Lord. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts" No matter how hard we try, we will never know 100% for sure what God is going to do in our lives. But that's where faith comes in. We have to put our faith in God, and trust that He knows what He is doing, and that we just have to search for him diligently and wait for Him to reveal His plan for our lives, step by step.
Right about the time that I was thinking I would give up on searching for God, I encountered Him in many mighty ways. After praying so many times for God to reveal Himself and His plan for my life, to me, He did that and more. God showed my what He wants me to do, at 2 camps, a mission trip, and a conference, this summer. He called me to step up, get out of my comfort zone, and start living a life that points EVERYTHING to Him! No, this is not the ideal thing to do, but it is what God specificly (and I mean very specificly) wants me to do. After God kept grabbing at me and saying I need to step it up and be a true leader, I prayed for help. I prayed for God to show me everything I needed to be this leader He wants me to be, becuase at that point in time, I couldn't have even lead a horse, if I needed to, I was so ill-prepared.. And sure enough, a few days after I prayed that prayer, God really started moving in my life. Every sermon or bible study or devotional I was apart of from that day forward, there was at least one if not more things that God showed me to work on in order to be His leader.
It is very true that God can take the faith of a mustard seed and use it to move mountains. After asking God to reveal His plan to me so many times, I had the smallest most tiniest bit of faith a person could possibly have, and thank God, He took that and used it for things I couldn't have ever imagined! I have learned to put all of my faith in God, becuase, even though many "friends" in the past have let me down after I put my faith in them, my God has NEVER EVER EVER let me down, and He NEVER EVER WILL! I was weak after praying that prayer over and over again, but God still lifted me up.
Every day, God lifts me up, over the things that I can't get myself over. When I am heartbroken and I feel like nothing can go right, He wraps His arms around me and tells me it will be okay. His love truly carries me, and that is why I was able to let go of all the things that were hindering me from moving forward with God, this summer, which were insecurities, facebook, and a friendship that I couldn't control.
An intimate relationship with God, takes time, and patience. Getting so close to God, didn't happen over night. I promise. God will do this in any and everyone's lives, but He has to test your faith, to make sure you are ready for what He has planned for your life. Give yourself up to Him, I promsie you will never make any better decision.
Friday, August 5, 2011
The Faith of a Child
In the bible, we are told to have child-like faith. Have you ever actually stopped to think about what it means to have child-like faith? How much faith does a child have?
The answer is: more than enough. Children don't question every little thing. Children don't question their parents when they tell them to trust them. So why do we question God, when He tells us to trust Him?
I don't have child-like faith. By any means. But God is helping me to better understand how to obtain it! I began to focus on my faith and pray hard about it, and God blessed my prayers, GREATLY! :) I recently went to church camp, and God began to answer a big majority of my prayers! He showed me that, having chlid-like faith will pay off, if not immediatly, then eventually! Sometimes, actually every time, we must accompany our faith with patience. The fruits of the spirit! Everything takes time, and once you finally get one fruit better ripened, then the others begin to ripen along with the other one, and hopefully when your journey ends, you learn what it's like to be filled with the fruits of the spirit! Thanks to God answering my prayers, He reassured me that I could put all of my faith and trust in Him, and that I could know I was making the right decision by doing so. I strongly encourage you to pray to God and ask Him to ripen your spiritual fruits, because I promise He will, if you let Him. Thank you, Jesus! :)
The answer is: more than enough. Children don't question every little thing. Children don't question their parents when they tell them to trust them. So why do we question God, when He tells us to trust Him?
I don't have child-like faith. By any means. But God is helping me to better understand how to obtain it! I began to focus on my faith and pray hard about it, and God blessed my prayers, GREATLY! :) I recently went to church camp, and God began to answer a big majority of my prayers! He showed me that, having chlid-like faith will pay off, if not immediatly, then eventually! Sometimes, actually every time, we must accompany our faith with patience. The fruits of the spirit! Everything takes time, and once you finally get one fruit better ripened, then the others begin to ripen along with the other one, and hopefully when your journey ends, you learn what it's like to be filled with the fruits of the spirit! Thanks to God answering my prayers, He reassured me that I could put all of my faith and trust in Him, and that I could know I was making the right decision by doing so. I strongly encourage you to pray to God and ask Him to ripen your spiritual fruits, because I promise He will, if you let Him. Thank you, Jesus! :)
Friday, July 22, 2011
Long Time, No Blog!
Well, it's been a few months since I have posted, but Im baaaaccckkk! ;)
God has shown me so many things since Febraury. Goodness. I can't even list them all.
I will just start with this summer. God has done some huge things, and luckily I have been able to be a part of some of them!
First I went to Super Summer...AMAZING! Honestly, Im pretty sure God spoke to everyone there. But God just showed me that I am called to be a leader. A shark. A disciple maker. So that got me thinking. I really didn't believe I was called to be a "leader" but I definitely felt lead to focus more on my relationship with God.
Next, I went to a leadership day camp for band, and it ended up being amazing. Going into it, I had a bad attitude, and I was very closed off to everything the speaker said, becuase I had aspirations to quit band soon. But towards the end of the speaker's message, he made everyone sit up and be quiet, and he went around the room (of about 150-200 people) and pointed to the people that he could feel a "leadership vibe" from, and sure enough, when he got to my side of the room, he pointed right at me. It scared me at first. Haha. But after that, God spoke right to me. He told me that I was in band for a reason, and that the reason was to let His light shine through me, and to be able to minister to the people in band. So that got me REALLY thinking.
Then I was priviliged to go on an unbelievably amazing mission trip to Nebraska. God moved in sooooooo many ways. So many ways. But when I was there, I was told by an adult that they felt lead by God to trust me with a situation, because they saw me as a trustworthy person and a leader. So, I came to accept God's call for me to be a leader. But God decided to make things completely clear whenever I called a friend of mine who is a Sr this year, to invite her to a party, and she tells me that the surrounding schools are meeting for an FCA Leadership day, and that she has to get all the leaders in our FCA to go, and she says, "so besides you, and me, who else is there?" God has made it very clear to me that He is calling me to be a leader.
Don't ever doubt that God has a purpose or a plan for your life. I was beginning to wonder if God would show me a part of His plan for my life, and I had prayed a lot for Him to reveal it to me, and God didn't hint his plan to me, He revealed it and made it clear. I praise Him for that. God is my love.
God has shown me so many things since Febraury. Goodness. I can't even list them all.
I will just start with this summer. God has done some huge things, and luckily I have been able to be a part of some of them!
First I went to Super Summer...AMAZING! Honestly, Im pretty sure God spoke to everyone there. But God just showed me that I am called to be a leader. A shark. A disciple maker. So that got me thinking. I really didn't believe I was called to be a "leader" but I definitely felt lead to focus more on my relationship with God.
Next, I went to a leadership day camp for band, and it ended up being amazing. Going into it, I had a bad attitude, and I was very closed off to everything the speaker said, becuase I had aspirations to quit band soon. But towards the end of the speaker's message, he made everyone sit up and be quiet, and he went around the room (of about 150-200 people) and pointed to the people that he could feel a "leadership vibe" from, and sure enough, when he got to my side of the room, he pointed right at me. It scared me at first. Haha. But after that, God spoke right to me. He told me that I was in band for a reason, and that the reason was to let His light shine through me, and to be able to minister to the people in band. So that got me REALLY thinking.
Then I was priviliged to go on an unbelievably amazing mission trip to Nebraska. God moved in sooooooo many ways. So many ways. But when I was there, I was told by an adult that they felt lead by God to trust me with a situation, because they saw me as a trustworthy person and a leader. So, I came to accept God's call for me to be a leader. But God decided to make things completely clear whenever I called a friend of mine who is a Sr this year, to invite her to a party, and she tells me that the surrounding schools are meeting for an FCA Leadership day, and that she has to get all the leaders in our FCA to go, and she says, "so besides you, and me, who else is there?" God has made it very clear to me that He is calling me to be a leader.
Don't ever doubt that God has a purpose or a plan for your life. I was beginning to wonder if God would show me a part of His plan for my life, and I had prayed a lot for Him to reveal it to me, and God didn't hint his plan to me, He revealed it and made it clear. I praise Him for that. God is my love.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Messing Up
If God wasn't so merciful, we would all be headed for hell, with no hope in sight. Now, Im the kind of person who worries more than is necessary. No, it's much worse than it sounds. It's like this is my list of things to do for the day:
1.Worry
2.Go To School
3.Worry About School
4.Babysit
5.Worry About What This Person Said
6.Go To Bed
7.Worry About Tommorow
Ya get what Im sayin'?
Im pretty sure that I worry to cover up my insecurities. Yes, I know that sounds silly, but it's the truth. When I first realized that I worry WAY too much, my first instinct was to justify my sin. Thankfully, the older I get, the easeir it gets for me to come face to face with my sins, but, it is still tempting to justify them and skip the hard part, which is admitting them. But we all know, that the right thing to do (and the thing that will do us much more good than damage) is what God calls us to do, no matter how bad the consequences seem to be. The only way I could possibly ever get through any problem, is to give it all, 100%, up to God, through faith. My faith isn't the strongest either. But that's where prayer and God's word come in handy. :) It doesn't matter how bad we mess up. Whether it's lying becuase your ashamed, (in my case) worrying to hide your insecurities, putting down others to make yourself feel better, or even just doing something that you know you shouldn't do. Whatever it is, there is a hope and a relief that we can find in Christ, through love and grace.
1.Worry
2.Go To School
3.Worry About School
4.Babysit
5.Worry About What This Person Said
6.Go To Bed
7.Worry About Tommorow
Ya get what Im sayin'?
Im pretty sure that I worry to cover up my insecurities. Yes, I know that sounds silly, but it's the truth. When I first realized that I worry WAY too much, my first instinct was to justify my sin. Thankfully, the older I get, the easeir it gets for me to come face to face with my sins, but, it is still tempting to justify them and skip the hard part, which is admitting them. But we all know, that the right thing to do (and the thing that will do us much more good than damage) is what God calls us to do, no matter how bad the consequences seem to be. The only way I could possibly ever get through any problem, is to give it all, 100%, up to God, through faith. My faith isn't the strongest either. But that's where prayer and God's word come in handy. :) It doesn't matter how bad we mess up. Whether it's lying becuase your ashamed, (in my case) worrying to hide your insecurities, putting down others to make yourself feel better, or even just doing something that you know you shouldn't do. Whatever it is, there is a hope and a relief that we can find in Christ, through love and grace.
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